In the 1986 movie Peggy Sue Got Married, Kathleen Turner plays an adult who attends her high school reunion, suffers from a major case of the vapors, and is transported back in time. She lands back in 1960, when she was a high school senior, with a chance to start anew, correct old mistakes, and perhaps make a few new ones.
During the ensuing do-wop-laced couple of hours, Peggy Sue reassesses her early relationship with her boyfriend-become-husband/ex-husband Charlie, played by Nicholas Cage. She forms a friendship with an ostracized high school geek and plants his turbocharged brain with coming attractions like the moon landing and gizmos such as microwave ovens, pocket calculators, and digital watches he could invent to become rich and famous. Then, as an inspired young inventor herself, she manufactures the world's first pair of pantyhose.
After her requisite fling with a laconic motorcycle-riding rebel-with-a-cause-poet, she runs off to visit her time-warp resurrected grandparents. There, she comes clean about her time-traveling escapade.
"Grandma… Grandpa… I want to tell you something. Somehow, I've traveled back in time from my late 30s, when I'm married with two children… And I miss my kids and want to go back."
The understanding Gram and Gramps believe her. So, what's a gal to do in order to time-hop back to the future without a DeLorean? I'm glad you asked. Grandpa has the solution. He'll hustle her off to his Lodge where they have just the ceremony for that.
They arrive at the Lodge building which on the outside is a conical structure resembling a Crazy Cup Ice Cream stand, but on the inside is almost certainly a genuine Masonic Lodge, replete with dozens of grayscale portraits of real-life Past Masters… just like the ones in your Lodge. The wide-eyed Peggy Sue has a question for Granddad.
"What does Grandma think you do at these meetings?"
"Stag parties and poker games," quips Gramps. Well, there goes one of our secrets.
The Brothers are suited in royal-purple robes with gold-colored fringe and embroidery. Accessories include a cornucopia of hats. What appear to be more lower-ranking Brothers wear black drooping Renaissance hats while others have elaborate royal-purple pyramid shaped headgear. Gramps, probably being something like a Past Poo-Bah, has a purple rectangular block-shaped headpiece with what appear to be four doorknobs on the top corners.
Peggy Sue gasps, "Grandpa, do you have to wear that hat?"
Gramps adjusts the hat moving it to the perfect position, "Wouldn't be a Lodge without hats." Another secret revealed.
Inside the Lodge room, the head Muckety-Muck sits in a familiar setting behind a podium elevated to a level three steps up. Opposite him, we see the customary sight of two columns. Not surprisingly, an altar stands in the center of the room.
A Brother informs Peggy Sue the Lodge was founded by a time-traveler (as was my own Lodge, but I digress). The ceremony begins with the resident musician playing Beautiful Dreamer on a mandolin. A Brother steps to the altar, breaks an egg into a chalice, and completes the concoction with an elixir of red goop. He follows this with the sign of the degree which is thus made: the hands are crossed palm-inward in front of the face with the thumbs touching the nose. The hands are then flapped vigorously with the Brother staring upward, symbolic of a prospective time-traveler flying off to a new epoch. The gesture draws a snicker from Peggy Sue – a reaction we may all have seen from our wives during open ceremonies. Three raps from the symbolic East brings the already standing Brothers to order as he enjoins the "Lord of the Universe, Ruler of Light, King of the Sun" to guide Peggy Sue, clad in a gold robe, forward in time.
Peggy Sue has doubts, "This is not going to work." Grandpa reassures her.
Chaos reigns as the scene fills with thunder and lightning. The Lodge goes dark, Peggy Sue disappears and when the light returns a Brother yells, "Let's play cards!"
Any well-educated Mason would recognize the faults in this particular rendition of our Time Travel Ceremony – which is so secret it's something I cannot discuss in this public forum. Of course due to those faults, it did not work. Instead, when the Lodge was dark Charlie (remember Charlie?) swept in, grabbed Peggy Sue, and whisked her away into the stormy night.
I suppose this could morph into a discussion of how the outside world views Freemasonry, but we'll leave that analysis for another time.
Anyway, Charlie drags Peggy into a greenhouse where they are out of the rain, tells her he's a changed guy and begs her to marry him.
Peggy Sue is furious, "What the hell do you think you're doing? I have to go back into the Lodge… My grandfather is in there. And you were never there for me and the children so I'm not crazy enough to marry you twice."
Charlie convinces her things will be different and we fade back to 1986, as Charlie wonders, "What children?"
The adventure culminates with Peggy Sue waking up from her fainting spell, securely back to the future, There, Peggy and her ex-husband reconcile. [aaaawwwwwwwwww] This leaves the door open for Charlie… a.k.a. Nick Cage… a.k.a. Benjamin Franklin Gates… to go off on his own quest where he discovers the Freemasons are the stewards of a great National Treasure.
