Ed B------ and the Lilli Dunn Kidnapping

For seven years, approximately 1976-1983, I worked as an IT manager for X---------- in Detroit. There I reported to a man named Ed B------. Ed was a character. He had come to X---------- from one of the Big-8 eight accounting-consulting firms, Z-------------. There, he had been an IT consultant, after which he came to X---------- as the Director of its computer department.

Ed was what you might describe as a "Playboy." He had, that I knew of, a few girlfriends (one, a woman that worked in my department) and was always "on the prowl." He loved to party and was close – probably a little too close – to all the people who worked for him. We had several parties at his residence – New Year's Eve, Halloween and whatever occasion – and most times the entire department was invited.

I got pretty close to Ed as did the other managers in the area. We bummed around together at work and other times and Ed never minded breaking the rules. We had fun at work and that extended beyond business hours.

One day I was outside my office in the executive area getting a cup of coffee and a man in a dark suit walked in just as Ed was coming out of his office. "Mr. B------," asked the man.

"Yes," answered Ed.

The man pulled a badge out of his pocket and showed it to Ed, "FBI," he said.

Ed replied, "I've been expecting you." That certainly made my mind race, but I had to wait until later to hear the rest of the story.

Afterward, Ed told me (and others) what it was all about. A young Detroit-area woman, Lilli Dunn, had been kidnapped. "She was dragged out of her home and thrown into a car kicking and screaming," as Ed put it. The FBI interviewed Ed because he had dated her a few years back. As I understood it, Lilli worked for Z---------- and that's how Ed got to know her. The news reports only mentioned she worked for the Detroit News, but she was, in fact, an accountant.

That's pretty much as far as Ed's account went with me but others in the department pressed him for more salacious details. Ed admitted (bragged) that he and Lilli had been intimate.

Ed was so easy-going and friendly with the guys in the department they cooked up an idea to play a joke on him… a really nasty one. They brought in another guy Ed would not have known and had him impersonate an FBI agent. He told Ed this was a standard part of an investigation and he needed more specific details about his relationship with Lilli. He conducted the second interview in Ed's office and got some juicy details about his sex life with her – and he recorded every word. I was unaware that any of this was going on.

Recording in hand, the perpetrators went to a specialty shop and had it cut into a record. Ed was, at the time, very much into the 'Freaky Deaky,' so they slapped that label on it and took it to a party Ed was having at his house, knowing Ed would select that to play, for sure. My wife and I had a vacation scheduled, so we did not attend the party.

The Monday after the party I got back from vacation. Ed came in late and stuck his head in the door, "Come to lunch with me."

I didn't know what to think. If it was to be one of Ed's "fun lunches" we should have been inviting others to go with us. This time it was just the two of us. The minute we got out the door and out of earshot of anyone else, Ed started unloading about what had happened at the party. This was the first I ever heard of the scheme. It seems it went just as the instigators had planned. The revelers asked Ed to put on some music to liven the party and, sure enough, the Freaky Deaky came up. To Ed's shock the fake FBI interview and his sex life with Lilli blasted all over the room. Everyone wanted to hear the whole thing and wouldn't let him get near the stereo to turn it off. They thought easy-going Ed would laugh along with the rest of them but it didn't turn out that way.

Ed was furious. Since I hadn't been at the party, I was just about the only one in the department he was speaking to. Ed's attitude was pretty much, "no more Mr. Nice guy." It changed his relationship with most of the people in the department and I was fortunate not to have been a part of it. Ed ultimately promoted me to a position with greater responsibilities. We remained friends and even took a couple vacations together.

I eventually left for "greener pastures." Ed continued to play hard and work hard. A heavy drinker and smoker, he died suddenly of a heart attack in 2009, at the age of 63.

I am totally certain, as is the FBI, that Ed had nothing to do with the abduction of Lilli Dunn.

Tyler Pete

The following is based on a true incident that happened in my Masonic Lodge. Names have been changed to protect the innocent, even though no one was innocent. It was first published on the Midnight Freemasons blog and it's about the aftermath of a dinner we had at the Lodge and a crazy idea that didn't work out so well. So with many apologies to Brother Robert W. Service and a poem he wrote about the cremation of a guy named Sam McGee I give you Tyler Pete And The Stairlift Chair.

There are strange things done in the Lodge, my son

By the Wardens and Stewards and such.

The kitchen crew has stories for you

That would make you lose your lunch.

The banquet nights have seen such fright

But the scariest night I swear

Was the Fourth of July when things went awry

And Tyler Pete crashed the stairlift chair.

Now that Tyler Pete he had two flat feet; he'd been there since time began.

No one cares when he went through the chairs, but he was Master way back when.

He moved around slow, yet gave it a go as the evening's chores accrued;

But he'd let you know with a tale of woe, "Dishes I don't want to do."

On the Fourth of July we had cake and pie and heaps of Masonic green beans.

The Lodge was well fed, "Too much food," they said, "have to take it home, it seems."

They packed it all up on plates and in cups and sat it all by the door.

There were many loads to get on the road, all stacked from ceiling to floor.

Now that Tyler Pete with the two flat feet, was still as sharp as a tack.

"Oh, I know," he said, "with his arms outspread, we'll put it all in a stack.

And the stairlift chair will take it down there... It cannot fail, I swear.

In no time at all, we'll get to the hall at the bottom of the stairs."

So he packed it up, every plate and cup and balanced it without fear.

Then he hit the switch but a little glitch made the whole load buck and veer.

Well, the chair, it stopped, but the load atop, shot out like a cannon ball.

The whole pile of trash dropped down with a crash, a big hot mess of a fall.

At very bottom, there was a problem: it was our big plate glass door.

The big ball of goop, pie, cake, beans and soup exploded through with a roar;

And glass and our food on the street it spewed — cars crashed in slime and meringue.

The last crash was shrill, but then it was still. The mishap stunned the whole gang.

Now Old Tyler Pete said, "It's not defeat. There's a good side to it all.

It may be a mess, but really we're blessed. Let's try not to be appalled. 

It's really a boon, as you will see soon. The good side of this shines through.

I'm happy you see and soon you will be: the dishes we don't have to do."

There are strange things done in the Lodge, my son

By the Wardens and Stewards and such.

The kitchen crew has stories for you

That would make you lose your lunch.

The banquet nights have seen such fright

But the scariest night I swear

Was the Fourth of July when things went awry

And Tyler Pete crashed the stairlift chair.